DadLife, A Work In Progress

I once got some advice from a good friend that stuck with me, "Justin, 90% of what we do as fathers will go unnoticed, but don’t let that frustrate you. Keep doing it all. It matters." I didn’t fully grasp the weight of those words, but now, I live by them. 

Over the years, my goals have changed. It used to be about accolades, performance, or building a bigger business. I was always chasing the next milestone—whether it was running another marathon or getting another win in my professional life. But somewhere along the way, I realized none of that really mattered if I wasn’t truly present for my kids.  

My focus now is simple: build a meaningful and positive relationship with each of my four kids. I don’t need to run faster, make more money, or achieve something that looks good on paper. My biggest success comes from being there for my kids, supporting them, guiding them, and teaching them. It sounds simple, but it’s the hardest and most important job I’ve ever taken on.  And let me tell you, it's a work in progress...

Parenthood is full of moving parts. Every day, there’s a new challenge or opportunity to show up. Sometimes it’s about encouragement, other times it’s about discipline. Some days, I’m their biggest fan, and on others, I have to give them tough love. It’s a balance that takes patience, mindfulness, and a whole lot of self-awareness. As fathers, we have to take care of ourselves first so we can be the best version for our kids. If we’re running on empty, we can’t give them what they need.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t always get it right. I used to have a temper. When my kids misbehaved, or when I didn’t understand where they were coming from, I’d lose it. I grew up in a house where dad would get pissed and we’d get spanked when we acted up. It wasn’t wrong; it was just how things were done. But looking back, I realized I didn’t want to follow that exact path. I want to stay in control. Because when I lose my temper, I lose control—and I hate that feeling.

Many situations we face as parents can be deescalated with compassion, communication, and tough love when needed. I’ve learned this the hard way. One night, my oldest daughter was acting out and being disrespectful. I snapped. I was in her face, yelling, and completely lost my cool. It didn’t help the situation. All it did was create mental stress for me and fear in my daughter’s eyes. That wasn’t what I wanted.

I’ve learned since then. Don't get me wrong, my kids still push my buttons sometimes, but I’ve gained a better sense of patience. I’ve found that if I stay calm, if I take a moment to breathe and approach them with a level head, they respond so much better. Kids don’t need someone yelling at them to correct their behavior, they need someone to talk to them, to understand them, and to guide them. That kind of calm, stoic presence is what helps them grow and learn. I’m still working on it every day, but I’ve seen the difference it makes.

No parent is perfect. We’re all just doing the best we can, learning and growing alongside our kids. Each child is different. They learn in their own way, communicate in their own way, and respond to situations uniquely. My job is to understand them as individuals and adapt how I parent to meet their needs. That means putting my ego aside and really listening to them—not just hearing the words but understanding their hearts. It’s not easy. It’s far from easy, actually. But it’s worth it.

I love my kids more than anything in this world, and every day I remind myself that being a good dad isn’t about grand gestures or getting everything right. It’s about showing up, consistently, patiently, and with love. Even if 90% of what I do goes unnoticed, I’ll keep doing it. Because it matters. Because they matter. And because I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be the best dad I can be for them.

Cheers to DadLife.